Gone
are the days when a single review could make or break a restaurant. OK, the
occasional masterpiece finds a wider-than-normal audience, such as The New York Times’ legendary
takedown of Guy Fieri’s American Bar & Kitchen. But the era when chefs
such as Marco Pierre White and Raymond Blanc waited anxiously for the verdict
of Egon Ronay and friends is largely over. And those were the good times. Instead, chefs today suffer
a daily death by a thousand cuts.
We’re
all food critics now
Search any restaurant online, and the scattergun opinions
on TripAdvisor or Yelp will inevitably have commandeered the top search
ranking. And what horrors await. For the most part, a masterclass in anonymous,
passive-aggressive spleen. Spiteful, deranged eviscerations from the keyboard
from customers who barely raised a heckle in front of their plate. Bizarre,
contradictory venting that reminds you of the line from Annie Hall:
“Boy,
the food at this place is really terrible.”
“Yeah,
I know. And such small portions.”
Understandably,
chefs are fighting back. Let’s be honest, there’s little enough love lost
between chefs and professional critics, but at least figures such as Ronay, who
had himself been a restaurant manager, gave a chef the right of reply before going
to print.
“I have seen waiters do many, many things,
including burst into tears and juggle knives, and I once glimpsed one having
sex. But never, ever has a waiter commiserated with me about the lack of
service.” (One
of the kinder parts of AA Gill’s review of L’Ami Louis
‘The Worst Restaurant in the World.’)
But
today’s assassin bloggers have rewritten the rules. Whatever their temperament
and resting heart rate, most chefs can take negative feedback that corrects a
genuine mistake. But not the guy who ordered his steak well done then
complained it was tough, or the table of six that sent back clean plates
without a word then posted a lengthy diatribe online. In these cases, you can
read some fantastic management comebacks online which call
into question the expertise, motivation or sanity of the reviewer. Then, of
course, there’s the elephant in the room. As one chef I spoke to admitted, “I
know that most of these one-star reviews come from my competitors.”
 |
| Dorset foodie Ali Smith |
Ali Smith, Dorset chef
and foodie
To
get some inside perspective from both sides of the swinging kitchen door, I
asked blogger and chef Ali Smith, who writes for West Dorset Foodie
and Menu
Dorset, for her thoughts on the rules of reviewing.
The
importance of blogs…
“From an industry perspective, blogs and reviews have become an
integral part of the public’s decision process. It’s not just the traditional
guides and broadsheet reviews any more. Reviews can and do bring diners to our
restaurants and as such must be viewed as a relevant tool. Bloggers need to
consider the position of power they are in; potential punters Googling a venue
might find three web pages; the restaurant’s own website, TripAdvisor and their
blog- one individual really can have a disproportionate amount of influence.”
…as long as they’re
fair
“Of
course we can’t expect all reviews to be glowing. As a chef – some constructive
feedback is often valuable; if diners and online reviewers are repeatedly
raising the same issues then maybe they have a point. It’s rarely useful,
however, to write a scathing review and often deeply unfair on the business and
individuals at the receiving end. In a personal blog situation, if you don’t
like somewhere, don’t write at all. The only possible purpose it can serve is
to alleviate your own need for vengeance. The restaurant might have been short
staffed, had a late produce delivery, or had an equipment failure in the
kitchen. We all have off days. It’s not good for the paying customer but it’s
how the restaurant deal with it that’s key. Be more understanding; point out
issues at the time, not after the event when the management have no power to
change the outcome.”
It’s not just personal
“I’m
a fine dining girl at heart; I love to be spoilt with the highest level of
service, the most exquisite food and in all likelihood a hefty bill come the
end of the evening. I can be very exacting. When reviewing, it’s important to
take a step back and try to be a little more objective. I ask myself- am I the
target market? I consider price – is this an everyday dining venue or an
expensive treat where there should be a higher expectation of quality and consistency?
Look around – if the place is busy and popular, what is it that other diners
are finding to their liking – perhaps it’s the generosity of portions, the
homely feel? Tastes differ and if you’re going to publish your opinion in the
public’s eye, it’s important, whilst being honest, to be fair.”
And it’s not just about
the food
“From
a personal perspective, writing about restaurants is a great way of getting out
and about and discovering different places I might otherwise have not
considered. I enjoy meeting new people, discovering new ingredients and (hopefully)
being surprised and delighted by flavours, ideas or techniques I might not have
come across or which might be being utilised in an unusual way.
Reviews can be helpful
“From
a chef’s perspective, it forces me to sharpen my senses, to analyse dishes and
flavours in more depth and hence to bring me to an ever-greater understanding
of the magical sensory experience that is food and dining. It’s also very
grounding; all too often, as chefs, we can become consumed with the act of
constructing dishes from within the confines of the kitchen, forgetting that
there is so much more to the diner’s experience than the food. Service,
atmosphere, the music, even the lighting, all play a part. It puts things into
perspective.”
Reviewing ain’t easy
“Of
course it’s not all positive, there have, of course, been times when,
confronted with yet another mediocre dish, another overcooked scallop, an
artificial tasting sauce which has seen neither love, nor vegetable nor bone in
its short journey from tub to plate, I wish I’d stayed at home and cooked
myself! On these occasions I console myself with a second glass of wine, a
glance at the beautiful view or the thought of another, better dining
experience that is sure to come!”
One
of the major safeguards these days is that bloggers and journalists have to
disclose if a review was paid for, by invitation, or incognito. Nearly all of
the reviews I have written have been arranged with the restaurant in question.
La Plantation in
Bournemouth
The Edge in
Bournemouth
Riverside in West
Bay
Neo
in Bournemouth
Obviously,
biting the hand that literally just fed you is not an option, not that it’s
ever been tempting. For my part, it’s clearly a perk to dine out in some great
venues and talk with the chef and dining room staff. Even when they’re busy,
they tend to make themselves available and are usually eager to communicate why
they’ve chosen the menu and what they’re trying to achieve.
Even though I love writing about food and restaurants, I can
barely cook, and have the palate of a bluebottle. Blindfolded, I would struggle
to tell the difference between beef and ice cream, let alone Burgundy and
Bordeaux. So instead of searching for flavours that 20 years of smoking pretty
much put out of reach, I try instead to communicate the overall experience,
look for the details that make the venue different, find the reasons why I’d
want to go there again.
To
finish off, as a little digestif, I’ve
picked my own restaurant Top 5…
Best critic:
AA
Gill. Not just my favourite critic, but one of my favourite writers altogether.
Brutally honest, not least about his own life, and so gifted at finding exactly
the right word or phrase to nail an idea. I believe he speaks very highly of me
also.
 |
| The Edge |
Best Dorset restaurant reviewed:
The
Edge. Chef Nick Hewitt’s food was magnificent, the view at sunset was perfect,
and the restaurant is now closed. Just goes to show…
Best dining experience:
A
bowl of giant land snail in a spicy palm nut sauce from an open-air cafe in
West Africa. To be honest, the snail was pretty hard work, but I wrote about it
as my entry for the Daily Telegraph
Young Food and Drink Writer of the Year competition in 1998, and won. So it has
a special place in my heart (and it only cost about $2).
Best restaurant visited:
La
Coupole in Paris. In 2001, the magazine I was working for in London took the
entire staff to Paris at Christmas. It was a lost weekend, followed within the
year by a lost job. This particular dinner was a bit of a blur. At one point I
remember being eyeball to antenna with a huge tower of langoustines on ice,
then a line of superbly professional waiters filing past with a birthday cake festooned
with sparklers. Pure theatre, and probably horrifically expensive for whoever
picked up the tab.
 |
| Courtesy of airlinemeals.net |
My Death Row dinner
choice:
Forget
fried chicken or a hamburger. My last meal on earth would be airline food,
either Virgin Atlantic or Delta to be precise. Whichever took longer. There’s
something about whipping away the tin foil, unwrapping each course one by one,
and having nothing else to focus on that can’t be beaten. Top tip: Always ask
the crew nicely for a second tray for a mid-Atlantic midnight snack (or to
barter for cigarettes with other inmates if really on Death Row).
As always, feel free to leave a comment or get in touch through editor@dorsetgourmet.com. And if you liked it, please share with the buttons below!
great post
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